The dictionary according to Oxford Languages defines as·sis·tance, /əˈsist(ə)ns/
noun 1. the action of helping someone with a job or task.
That is what we thought the word “assistance” means. But maybe not in the context of an Assisted Living Facility? We learned the hard way when we asked for transfer assistance for Mom.
Mom and her husband Erv have lived at Carolina Meadows for eleven years, and moved to the Fairways the Assisted Living facility eight years ago. They are the longest residents and went through their long-term care insurance in seven years with a life-time cap of $750,000. We are fortunate they are in relatively good health at 93 and 96, respectively.
So, a few months back when Erv had a health scare at 96 years of age, we asked the facility to do what Erv has been doing for ten years, helping Mom with transfer assistance.
We did not expect the response, Carolina Meadows does not provide transfer assistance in assisted living! Mom and Erv had two options: 1) they hire outside providers to come help with a two-hour minimum at $40 an hour, or 2) move to the skilled nursing unit.
Mostly Mom needs “assistance” for a few minutes when she needs to go to the toilet. Someone needs to help transfer her transfer from her lift chair to her wheelchair, to the toilet, and back again. Five to ten minutes of “assistance”, but the Assisted Living Facility said they could not provide that kind of “assistance” so frequently or on demand Say What?
Carolina Meadows is a not-for-profit continuing care community. When they moved to Carolina Meadows they were in independent living. Three years later, when Mom lost her mobility, they moved to the Fairways.
Our family is incredibly fortunate to have Mom and Erv in a wonderful facility with excellent food and what we thought was good staffing. NAUGHT.
The food is great! But when residents need “assistance” not so great.
The Biden Administration just announced new staffing rules for nursing homes. But, assisted living facilities are not nursing homes, not covered by Medicare or Medicaid…..not covered by any state, local to federal agency, or so it might seem.
Sister Becky and I went into action. We got very lucky, enter Autumn and Nellie. Mom and Erv didn’t want to make waves, which we understood. But they are paying good money and we thought those payments included “assistance”. Needless to say, Erv has been providing the assistance to Mom for the past eight years.
Enter Nellie Social Worker from Chatham County Government Office of Aging, and Autumn from the Regional Longterm Care Ombudsman. We all met with Carolina Meadows personnel and after a couple of meetings, and an occupational therapist independent assessment of Mom’s needs, she is getting the assistance she needs. Thanks to Nellie and Autumn, who we believe advised Carolina Meadows of their obligations to provide routine “assistance” with the six “activities of daily living” which includes transfers. This is a very long explanation of why everyone needs to be an advocate for their health care needs. If your parents can’t be their own advocates someone needs to step in.
Becky and I worry that other Carolina Meadows residents don’t have children like us. Well, there really aren’t any children/advocates like us. Early in my career I was an investigator for the Alaska State Ombudsman and later a union representative. Becky made history this year as a plaintiff in Moore vs. Harper, where the U.S. Supreme Court rejected the North Carolina Legislature’s crazy “Independent Legislative Theory”.
This whole experience confirmed I won’t be moving into any assisted or nursing facility. I urge everyone to read Amy Bloom’s recent book on assisted suicide, In Love. That is the assistance plan where I will be enrolling.
I will resume my travel log on the Road2Reinvention September 15, when I return to First Landing State Park, in Virginia Beach, VA. I will be hosting there until October 31, and will head south for the winter.
Hope you will Stay tuned.
